Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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