You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
