Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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