If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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