I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
