If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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