??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just want to make out with him forever
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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