I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
