There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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