I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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