take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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