Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
