so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
