Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
