Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
