I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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