shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
