you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Vodka?
Forever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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