Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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