I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
