ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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