Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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