Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
