I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
