We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
