are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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