Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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