Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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