I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
