i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
