I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Randomize
