she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
