This is not my ceiling
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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