I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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