I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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