He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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