Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize