I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
