i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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