kristin has been a bad kristin
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
