Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
