today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
