she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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