You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
