No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
