the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
