you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
