i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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