Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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