I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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