I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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