yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
