i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
