i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
