I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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