everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dicks are not precious.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
