He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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