trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize