So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
